If Only

there is a possibility of better, we all can see it. we all are aware of it, it’s right over there, it’s just that well, we need to survive, and that comes first. we’d love to live in that better world, but we can’t make it pay the rent.

but we know it when we see it. gosh it makes us happy. look at it, a possibility that’s helpful to have over there so we can dream. not that we dream of it becoming a reality, just that we dream of it to escape the shit we’re dealing with.

it’s nice to know that the dream exists, you know? i sure would love if it were reality, but i’m a realist, I’ve learned not to hope too much, to assume that imagination can become reality. so i just dream about it, as a distraction. i will still do whatever is necessary to buy food. that’s how it works right?

who cares if the majority of people believe are dreaming about the better? it’s so naive. it’s a fantasy that would never become reality because the government is useless. or even if they tried, it won’t make anyone rich, and those rich people control everything. anyways even if we could figure out how to make the better a reality, it wouldn’t hold up in courts, right?

it’d be illegal even if we tried to make it legal, because all the people with real power would be so scared.

imagine if we didn’t need them.

imagine if their dreams of legacy were impossible because they couldn’t just force people to implement them. if everyone could refuse.

again, so fun to imagine, but shit, they have the power.

they have the power and that’s why i don’t have time to take care of my loved ones. they have the power and that’s why i can’t spend a lazy day swimming in the river with those i love the most. the water is poisoned, toxic. because they have the power.

even if i wanted to make a garden, i shouldn’t, because their parents had power and they were so excited about getting rich on technology they forgot to check if the technology poisons the soil for generations. it does–later we learned that–but they had the power and could do whatever they want, and so i shouldn’t make a garden.

they have the power and I have to pay rent which means i can’t go help a friend repair their home. i’d love to, nothing makes me happier than laboring to support my friends, but my friend is in the same shit i’m in. they have the power and we need their money to pay our rent. the house can wait, i guess.

but it is fun to imagine they didn’t have the power.

if only we weren’t the majority of humanity. if only we also had some power. if only our dreams were realistic, and not so impossible. if only.

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